I’ve been really loving PARTYNEXTDOOR lately – his music is a nice break from the usual Dirty South Hip Hop I listen to. I love the confidence he exudes in the music….and I love love love that he’s from the Greater Toronto Area.
Plus he’s kinda cute, so excuse me while I have a few daydreams about this man:
(totally the type of guy I would go for)
That would be a new low for me – and I thought Manchild was bad!
Daydream = dead. Oh well.
Random, but whatever!
I forgot to mention that I managed to negotiate a Macbook Air for work use as part of the deal – this, out of everything, was probably the biggest deal breaker for me – I can’t stand using Windows (personal preference) and the Air makes it easy for me to tote the laptop home to work from home when needed (which will probably be often)!
Obviously I’m a little behind. With the holidays and getting ready for Jamaica things have been kinda crazy in my life.
While I’m not one to make resolutions, I have been thinking about some things I want to accomplish this year:
The first is I need to get my financial life in order. After the separation there were unexpected bills that put me in debt – that I am still paying off, even as of last week! I want to pay off the little bit of debt I have and start saving. By the end of the year I want to be in a place where I can breathe comfortably and sleep well at night. This is my biggest goal.
I want to finalize the divorce. I want that part of my life over and done with.
I want to continue to nurture and grow the new relationships I have made since the separation – I think this is important given the above. If I am to really start over and have that part of my life closed, I unfortunately need to let go of some people, especially those with close ties to my ex.
I want to start preparing my body for a child. I need to get off one of the medications I’m on, and start taking folic acid every day. This seems so easy, but I haven’t been able to do it consistently yet!
As far as where A and I will end up, that’s not something I can speculate on. I am hopeful. I’ve also learned though that people and life can throw you curveballs! I’m planning for the future but keeping my eyes open.
But still fun!
I found a website called MorphThing and had some fun playing around with what a potential baby would look like between myself and A:
Not too bad!
I also tried it with Mr. Dreads:
Meh, I’ve seen better looking kids.
(I hope he reads this!)
Is it weird that I already have a name picked out for a little girl? Not telling though, family and friends keep taking all the baby names I had picked out: Emma, Stella, Sophia….
Quite literally I am dead tired. A has been staying over every night this week, and will continue to until Sunday night. I am getting in as much time with him as possible before he leaves, but this means that I am also getting up at 4am to drive him back to his place to get ready for work, then going back home to sleep for another hour before I have to get up again. Even multiple doses of coffee are not doing enough this morning to keep me awake and focused, and I think today will be a write-off work-wise. I would love nothing more than to head home for a couple hours and nap!
I’ve decided to spend the time apart being productive rather than moping around, and have found a dance studio close by that has drop-in classes. I’m super excited to start dancing again – it’s fun and I always feel amazing after – not just because of the endorphins from the workout but I have better body image when I dance consistently, and who doesn’t want to just naturally feel better about themselves?
Grandfather writes the below letter to his daughter after she kicks out his gay grandson:
Full story here
Message from a dear friend:
This came at just the right moment.
Don’t expect any cohesion to the below, it just ain’t happening today.
I’m really liking Mr. Smiley.
It’s too bad he’s going back home to Jamaica in November. His intention is to come back to Toronto in the Spring but nothing is ever for certain in life. I am going to miss him when he leaves.
We spent both Friday and Saturday night together, him leaving early in the morning both times. I always have a great time with him, sex not included. He makes me laugh, and I think that’s one of the best aphrodisiacs anyway. I don’t seem to ever want him to leave my bed. Kinda wish I could keep him there permanently. How awesome would it be to come home to that every day?
Damn life getting in the way.
I have been detaching myself from Mr. Jamaica after an incident last week. More to come on that later.
I have also been trimming down on the men in my life – it’s too exhausting keeping up with all of them.
Finally to end off the weekend I got the following text from this guy who I have not met:
I just told him thanks, but no thanks. I may not exactly be virginal but I do like to at least meet a guy before falling in bed with him. Even I’m not that slutty.
These are my kids. Whenever I'm all “I hate being single I'm never going to meet anyone I'm never going to have a kid I'm going to die old wrinkly and alone WAAAAAAAAH” they're just like “Don't worry mom, we will love you always.”
I decided to start this blog because I maintained a blog for 6 years when I was younger, only stopping as I graduated from college. I miss the perspective blogging used to give me!
And for sure perspective is something I could really use right now…
A few things about me:
– I am 29 years old
– I separated from my husband July 2012 (almost 1 year!)
– I have 2 dogs who are a big part of my life
– I have a good job that I love
Those are the highlights, certainly more will emerge as I begin to write.