…where your life will end up.
I didn’t think that a year ago I would have met a super awesome man on an online dating site when I was least expecting it (but isn’t that always the way, I guess?), that the relationship would have taken me to Jamaica twice, and that within a year of meeting we would be living together.
I also didn’t think that I could be this content AND that I would be preparing to conceive in the new year.
I’ve been thinking of taking this blog to a new location to start over documenting this new chapter…stay tuned….
I don’t know how people survived long distance relationships before without the multitude of technology at their fingertips.
Today A is sending me paint colours to help him pick a colour for his bathroom. Of course I’ve never seen his bathroom in person but I have seen the tour of his house on Skype AND the new tiling he did in images and video so I wouldn’t be blindly helping him pick a colour.
Yesterday he drove to Kingston with a friend, and sent the below images along the way:
Obviously it’s not the same as being there, but every little bit helps to stay connected.
Long distance is hard. It’s much harder than I thought it would be. I am glad for technology and the ability to keep in touch with A throughout the day. I often send him the most mundane things – images, videos – over WhatsApp. He has seen so many images of my dogs, my clothes, things I’ve bought, food I’ve made. I’m just trying to keep him “in the loop,” so to speak.
The one thing that has been good though is that I have no trust issues with this man. There are no alarm bells, or anything that would even suggest there’s something else going on down in Jamaica than what I’ve been told. When I call him, I reach him, every time. If he’s with people he will still talk to me, and on video no less. And when he’s out with friends he will often hop on the free wifi and call me via Skype to talk. A man with something to hide would not behave this way – I should know, I’ve been with enough men who had something to hide!
Regardless, the distance is hard. There’s a lot to be said for being able to just touch someone. It’s also expensive to call the Caribbean, and sometimes Skype is not an option. I’m scared to see my upcoming phone bill actually – the first week he was gone we blew through 600 minutes of airtime, and that doesn’t factor in the time spent talking over wifi. At $0.25/minute that can really add up.
It’s all worth it though….and only 44 more days to go before I’m in Jamaica!
The cold has settled into my bones it seems. Not great timing – after dropping A off at the airport this morning I went home and got into bed to try and get another few minutes of sleep. I was so cold, even fully clothed. It was like my bed was chastising me for laying in it alone after having another human being in it for 7 nights straight. There was no warm body to steal heat from and I might resort to having the dogs sleep on the bed again so I can stay warm at night.
It was a good weekend, though bittersweet. It didn’t really hit me until last night that he was leaving and I started tearing up during sex. Really now, could my eyes not have waited until after sex to leak?
– It snowed! I was really hoping for the first snow while he was still here. There’s just something romantic about those first few flurries, especially when you’re huddled in a warm bed together.
– I took a detour offroad Saturday just for fun. His reaction to almost getting stuck in a mud pit was pretty funny. Apparently offroading/mudding is strictly a white person thing – but he admitted after he calmed down that he had fun.
Now I guess the countdown begins to when I fly out to visit him – 63 days!
The very last weekend with A is about to begin – come Monday morning he will be on a plane back home, where I won’t see him until January 28th.
I am keeping positive though by making plans to keep busy dancing and sleeping more. I’ll be starting to take classes starting next week – Bellydance, Urban Bellydance, and Dancehall – for fun and for exercise and to hopefully compensate for the lack of sex I’ll be having in the coming months. Sex though has been the reason I’ve barely slept this week. I’ve been going to bed at the usual time but being woken up at 2:30/3am to A groping me. I’m not complaining though, I’d rather have sex and no sleep than no sex at all given the upcoming circumstances.
I think I’ll really miss him though, and for more than just the sex.
The countdown has begun and it’s not something I’m looking forward to – in fact, I hope this week drags on so that A stays in Canada for as long as possible. Today was his last Monday in Canada – next Monday at 9am he flies home. My plan is to spend as much time with him as possible this week, obviously.
There was one weekend where A had me convinced that he was flying to Vancouver for a day the next morning and needed a ride at 5am to go home so he wouldn’t miss his plane. I didn’t believe him because he likes to play practical jokes a lot, so I shrugged it off until 5am when his alarm went off and he got up and started getting dressed. I started to do the same, only to turn around and find him back in bed, laughing, because of course he wasn’t flying to Vancouver but he had to keep the story going until the last possible second.
I keep hoping that this whole going home to Jamaica thing is all just a practical joke like that, and we’ll get to the airport and A will be like “surprise, I’m staying!”
Though I was the one who actually purchased his plane ticket so I know that’s a long shot. A girl can hope though!
It really is. I don’t have many complaints at the moment, though it would be great to have more money coming in. The most stressful part of being separated has been going from two incomes to one, while maintaining the same lifestyle. I’m on an actual budget so I can get the finances under control as well as be able to afford that trip to Jamaica next year.
Speaking of Jamaica, A and I are doing really well and I fall for him a little more each time I see him. There are so many things I just love about this man, such as:
– He is a good man, right down to the small things like opening doors and carrying the heavy items
– He is extremely close to his mother (you can judge a man by how he treats his mother)
– He always smells fantastic
– He will make an excellent father and provider
– I feel safe around him
– My family likes him (and my mother has proposed a family bowling night before he leaves)
– His body is exactly my preference
– The sex is fantastic
– He’s a good influence on me! I sleep more, drink less, and eat better around him
Enough of that mushy love stuff, I’m still learning to be comfortable with it, baby steps please!