How do you balance working towards a common goal with someone that you want to be with long-term, but also ensuring that YOU will be ok if things fall apart?
I’ve never been very good at that. I guess I just throw myself into things and let other things slide, things that would make the transition to “unattached” easier.
I have to try really hard to remember that I must do what is right for me (and the dogs).
This is not to say that I have any doubts about where A and I stand, or are going. We are great, and work really well together. We have similar goals and want the same things in life. We respect each other and there have been no red flags of any kind. Also, we make a damn good-looking couple together.
BUT I am somewhat torn in the living situation. Due to my new job (on the other side of the city), it makes more sense for me to be closer to work – which means, literally, across the city from A (when he comes back to Canada).
Of course, across the city is really nothing compared to halfway across the world…
I’ve promised myself that I would at least wait to make a decision on the living situation until he is back and somewhat settled – it’s unlikely though that he will find a job in the same area of the city (that would just be way too convenient, life cannot be that easy).
It’s hard though when I see condos in my price range and in my desired location that I want to jump on, but I keep reminding myself of what my father always says to pull me back from impulse decisions: “there will always be another one.”
A finally got the package that I sent him.
And then I laughed out loud in the middle of a meeting.
No, I’m not talking about surprise butt sex, you pervs…
A: “Did I tell you that I love you?”
Me: “No, you haven’t, but I already knew anyway.”
A: “I did tell you, I just told you in Spanish a few weeks ago.”
Sure enough, he did, the sneak!
I cannot believe I did not think of this idea before.
A loves t-shirts. All he wears are t-shirts, especially graphic ones like the below.
Sidenote: Those arms? They make me blush.
A also has 3 things he says often:
- “Oh really now?” (when he doesn’t really believe something)
- “Question.” (right before he asks a question)
- “This is it.” (before he explains something)
So I’ve decided to create custom t-shirts for him with the above sayings. I think it will be simple since they are just basic letters on a basic t-shirt. I’ll probably do it myself because it will be cheaper, as opposed to outsourcing it to a custom screen printing company.
This is possibly the best idea I’ve ever had in my entire life. Yep, I really just went there.
I don’t know how people survived long distance relationships before without the multitude of technology at their fingertips.
Today A is sending me paint colours to help him pick a colour for his bathroom. Of course I’ve never seen his bathroom in person but I have seen the tour of his house on Skype AND the new tiling he did in images and video so I wouldn’t be blindly helping him pick a colour.
Yesterday he drove to Kingston with a friend, and sent the below images along the way:
Obviously it’s not the same as being there, but every little bit helps to stay connected.
Long distance is hard. It’s much harder than I thought it would be. I am glad for technology and the ability to keep in touch with A throughout the day. I often send him the most mundane things – images, videos – over WhatsApp. He has seen so many images of my dogs, my clothes, things I’ve bought, food I’ve made. I’m just trying to keep him “in the loop,” so to speak.
The one thing that has been good though is that I have no trust issues with this man. There are no alarm bells, or anything that would even suggest there’s something else going on down in Jamaica than what I’ve been told. When I call him, I reach him, every time. If he’s with people he will still talk to me, and on video no less. And when he’s out with friends he will often hop on the free wifi and call me via Skype to talk. A man with something to hide would not behave this way – I should know, I’ve been with enough men who had something to hide!
Regardless, the distance is hard. There’s a lot to be said for being able to just touch someone. It’s also expensive to call the Caribbean, and sometimes Skype is not an option. I’m scared to see my upcoming phone bill actually – the first week he was gone we blew through 600 minutes of airtime, and that doesn’t factor in the time spent talking over wifi. At $0.25/minute that can really add up.
It’s all worth it though….and only 44 more days to go before I’m in Jamaica!
My head is spinning with all the ideas floating around. This is what happens sometimes after I go through a period of inspirational dryness – it’s like every awesome idea under the sun comes at me all at once and I don’t have time to do all of them….or even write them all down!
After the cookie and pantygram package sent to A last week I had so many other ideas of things to make and send him. Most of them I decided not to do just because of shipping costs (it’s seriously ridiculous).
Instead I’ve earmarked the following ideas (in my head) that should not cost much to ship:
1. I made the below QR code that I will attach to a small bottle of maple syrup. (Apparently I make the best pancakes ever and it was the only thing he ever wanted me to make).
In case you don’t have a scanner or don’t care to scan the above, it says:
“I was going to give you the pancake recipe to go with this syrup, but then decided I’d just make it for you when I’m down there – so hold this syrup until then!”
2. I am doing my own version of the below library card idea except the card will say “can I keep you?” instead of “I love you”
That’s about as mushy as I can get without wanting to slap myself.
I no longer have the link to the original version of this, but I believe it may have come from Etsy and I picked it up somewhere else.
3. I am in the process of knitting a beanie for him. It’s the only type of hat he wears and the only thing I could think of to knit for him. Still trying to think of other ideas. He doesn’t need scarves and mitts in Jamaica (unfortunately for me because that would be so easy but fortunately for him because it’s fucking cold outside in Canada).
4. Finally I found the best motto for him and would love to turn this into something he could put in his bathroom – the only problem is figuring out how to execute it.
Any other ideas welcome!
After hearing A’s voice yesterday sounding so not like him I went home and got started on the care package. I decided to make chocolate chip shortbread cookies since I figured they would hold up better in transit (they are delicious, by the way).
These smelled amazing when they were baking.
And they tasted even better.
I packed the cookies carefully in this tupperware container with a shitload of waxed paper to hold everything in place. I didn’t want the cookies to be tossed around and arrive crumbled, that would be such a waste. I finished it off with a bow, just because I’m awesome like that.
I also included the “pantygram” – panties picked up from the grocery store (gotta love Loblaws, where I can pick up panties, milk, and nail polish at the same time).
Actually I picked the card up there too and I thought it was pretty fitting – the inside says:
“What the hell is up with this?
I included a personal message but since it’s personal I won’t share it here. Oh, and the fabric envelope came from work because we have a million of these types of things around, which is going to make it really easy for me to nicely package the other things I want to send him….
The silver lining about this different country thing we have going on is that it gives me the opportunity to be super crafty. I have ideas, so many ideas, for things to make and send him. I can barely contain myself!
After being literally exhausted yesterday I passed out early and actually slept a straight 8 hours through the night. I felt amazing when I woke up, but A called me before work and seems to be really missing us (I think by “us” he means me and the dogs because he really bonded with Molly – see below!) and that made me sad.
I’m planning on sending him a care package tomorrow filled with homemade cookies and my own pantygram (new panties, not worn!) and this morning I sent this image to him to cheer him up:
To which he replied:
At least our sense of humour is still intact!